Single on Social Media

Single on Social Media.

This is me, I'm a happy little human and recently I became single for the first time in two and a half years.

Recently single, I find myself almost thrown into the seedy underworld of Internet dating and terrible chat up lines.

"Have sex with me?"

"No thank you"

"Ahhh go on, I'm not very good but I try really hard"..

Jesus man, has that ever worked?

This being just one of the horrors I found myself on the receiving end of.

I went on a date.. I think it was a date.. Probably wasn't tbh. And the guy spent the whole ferry ride telling me the ferry might sink.. I have anxiety. If he wasn't so fit I'd have pushed him overboard. OOPS.. MAN DOWN.

A single girl, living in South Shields. It's hardly Sex and the City but let's just assess how we meet people in the age of the internet..

We don't have any time, do we?

We're living in a world that goes one million miles an hour and we barely get time to eat a grab and go salad from Morrison's never mind take the time out of our lives to meet someone. And on my days off, I dunno about you, but I'd rather spend it in bed binge watching American box sets eating pizza than having to get myself all dolled up to go meet someone who I don't know.. Who may or may not be a murderer. And what if they have no personality? What a waste of make up that would be.

On a recent night out. My friends convinced me to download "Tinder".. What an eye opener that was. You swipe over people.. Dismissing them in a blink of an eye because their pictures aren't attractive enough.. Or in my case.. They don't have a dog in them. How did we get to this?

Call me old fashioned, but what's wrong with a date? An invitation to a gig, a bar, a restaurant?

The questions you get asked..

"how big are your tits?" "Would you be bothered that I wear women's underwear?" "Will you send me your old, worn shoes"..

I despair.

Men with wives and women with husbands think that just because YOU'RE single.. that you'd be okay with them being married.. or even just in a relationship. It doesn't half make you lose your faith in the fairytale "happily ever after" we're all spoon fed as kids.

You feel like a slab of beef at a meat market.. They're all staring at you measuring you up, which bits they like/want and what they don't. It's bizarre, but maybe I'm just out of practice?

Dating is hard, I've heard and experienced some horror stories, we'll visit those another time though.

I'm hopeful though. I've been in love so I know that it does happen, and I know couples and families who have been to hell and back and still remain together, happily together. I believe in soulmates and happiness and that we all have the love we deserve in the end. Unfortunately you've just got to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince.. or princess.

And they might all be extremely weird.

🐸👑.