Socially Awkward and Single

I got diagnosed with anxiety a few years ago, and it's something I suppose I've always known about myself but I just thought it was part of my personality.. how weird is that? I thought it was just a part of me that made me scream "I KNOW" in the face of anyone who gave me a compliment. It really isn't cute. 

So I thought I was sorted in a relationship a while ago, and then it ended and I remember thinking to myself "well that's me dying alone." Not in a morbid way.. just in a "oh Jesus no one will want me when I can't even make a phone call without dissolving into a pool of sweat" kinda way.

So I just dated a bit and wondered why it never progressed after I divulged my love of serial killers and how I know exactly where to stab someone without them being able to scream for help (do you SEE WHAT IM DEALING WITH HERE?)

Ever walked past someone at work who you fancy and tried to hide from them.. in an empty corridor.. with no doors? I have. Welcome to my life. 

However, I digress.

My love life is pretty tragic, but you know what. I'm happy just fancying everyone right now if I'm honest.

You know you have issues when you tell your best friend you fancy a guy from work and her response is "have you started being horrible to him yet?" Why yes.. yes I have!

But my point is, I don't actually know. This is just the ramblings of someone who is 27, single and extremely awkward but you know what.. I'm quite happy being me.

I spent a massive amount of my life trying to fit myself into a mould of what I "should" be. I shouldn't like comics or football because I'm a girl, I shouldn't like basketball because I'm short, I shouldn't like modelling because I'm too perfect (last one's a lie but a girl can dream).

I GUESS, what I'm saying is just be YOU. You're a boy who wears make up? Amazing! A little girl who wants to be a builder? Fan-fucking-tastic.. be yourself because at the end of the day what else do we have?